I have NO IDEA where 2014 went… absolutely NONE! I sit here scratching my head, looking around the mess that is this house and wonder what happened. It isn’t like Fred and I went out and played (okay well maybe we played a little). We actually worked – A LOT!
As for me, I spent the majority of the year working 60+ hours per week trying to get a business turned around (it wasn’t even my business and the pay was horrible). I was so exhausted by the time I got home I usually ate and went to bed. I made that choice though, I knew what I was up against and I accepted the terms (why? I wanted the challenge, I was searching for a new direction).
I accomplished NOTHING in 2014 that I set out to do.
Resolutions? I don’t believe in them. Never have. I personally believe it is silly to come up with a list of things that you are going to change at the beginning of every year, only to not get them done, and then lament about what you didn’t do.
I believe that when you have something that needs to change, you do it, right then and right there. No time like the present, am I right?
As it turns out, what needs to change for me (us) just happens to coincide with the end of 2014 and the beginning of 2015.
What’s up in our world?
Well, a lot of things happened in 2014 that will be guiding us in 2015.
First of all, I mentioned previously that I was working a lot. Too much! As things go, I was actually “let go” from my position. Nothing to be ashamed about, I know that I did my very best work, had a fabulous team that I worked with, and that I can be very proud of what we accomplished while I was there. I’m not the only one who has left – completely the corporations loss! I didn’t see myself there over the long haul anyway – the corporate culture did not mesh with my personal values.
Was I upset with the loss of my job? NOT AT ALL! It was time for me to make a change. I had allowed myself to get sucked back into management and into the corporate jungle. A place that I knew that I did not want to be.
My first change in “career” path occurred in 2009. I found that I was working too much and living too little. I vowed to live more and changed my career to something I thought would be more in line with my goals. I had a few hiccups along the way as I figured out what my goals were, and what I wanted to do for an income to support those goals. After 22 years in healthcare administration and management, I knew that it was not what I wanted to do. I chose that career and followed that path in order to support my WASband and my decisions were based on what would make him happy.
I worked in higher ed for a few years and recognized right away (less than one year into a tenured position) that academia was NOT for me. I loved teaching and guiding students, LOVED IT! I could not stand the politics and back biting.
Fred and I moved to Washington (the state) in 2011 after my father passed away. We currently live with and assist my mom around the house. I LOVE the time that we have had together. I’ve always been close to my parents even though the majority of my adult life had me living hundreds of miles away. My goal for a job when moving down here was to find something where I could go to work and then go home. I didn’t want the responsibilities of management. I ended up getting sucked in though – you cannot escape doing things that you are good at and even though I tried to keep my talents quiet once people found out what I was good at I ended up back where I was.
For some reason I thought that I would have time to get everything cleaned and organized at my moms. Her stuff and ours. My mantra is “simplify, simplify, simplify” and “PURGE”. Good thing I didn’t make those into resolutions because it would have been an epic failure!
Since separating from my last position, I have been diligently looking for work in my “primary occupation” – without any success. I’ve submitted resumes, applications, cover-letters, and made contacts with key people with no work on the horizon. I’ve only interviewed for maybe three jobs in the past three months and have put my shingle out as a management and education consultant. I am having more success with the shingle… and that is actually leaving me time to contemplate what I really want to do.
As I think about my job outlook and my current job search I am having a difficult time not getting depressed about my lack of prospects. I have NEVER been unemployed (unintentionally) and each and every job I have held was either created for me or I was recruited for the position. Having so many rejection letters and lack of response is down right defeating. The standard line is “thank you for your interest we are choosing to look at candidates that more closely match our profile for this position” or some such nonsense. I know the lines… I’ve used them myself.
As an HR professional I think I have pinpointed the issue though… while I am presenting a professional and appropriate image, and saying all of the right things, highlighting my credentials and such, any person worth their two cents conducting an interview would clearly be able to see that my heart is just not “into” doing what I have spent so many years preparing for (education, licenses, certifications, etc). I just don’t have that type of work “in me” any more.
Sure, I can DO the work, I just don’t want to. I am going through the motions… I lack the fire I used to have and the passion for what that field has to offer.
Fred, on the other hand, has always been self employed. He is a master of most… mostly out of necessity. He had to learn how to do things in order to stay employed or keep his life together and running. He’s an artist, a mechanic, a commercial fisherman, construction worker, retail sales, manager… he’s done just about everything at some point or another. He’s used to living between paychecks, bartering for services and making due. Me? Not so much… I grew up a city girl with all of the trappings of middle class life. If I wanted something I worked more hours or another job in order to get it – or I charged it (but that is another story for another time). I accumulated too much stuff and jumped on the treadmill called “career” and worked toward being “successful”.
I am ready to redefine “success”… the standard path just isn’t cutting it any more.
What is next for us?
In October of 2014, Fred’s eldest brother suggested that he take on the position of House Leader for his clan (see related post). This is a huge responsibility and will require that we move to Angoon, Alaska.
This could not have happened at a more perfect time! While we won’t be moving until some time in 2016, we do have a lot of things that MUST be done before we relocate back to Southeast Alaska (what I consider to be my home).
So many things have happened in the past few years. All good! My eyes are opened, my life is changing and I am excited about it. Fred came into my life in 2010 and we married in June of 2014. All I see is a bright and happy future. All of these major life changes have been wonderful ways to explore what can be.
Everything happens for a reason, and when it is supposed to, and the stars are coming into alignment. I believe that the more I let things go, the more things fall into place. I am learning to let things happen and learning to let go of the need to control each and every aspect of my life.
There are things that need to happen, but they don’t have to happen on a schedule, or according to a predefined plan.
We are busy planning and preparing for our move. Some things will happen and some will not. We’ll just see where we end up and enjoy the ride.